Donor Story: “My work in fertility is one of the things I’m proudest of…”

My name is Joseph. I’m a sperm donor to ten different families, and thirteen children at present have been born as a result of my donations.

Starting a family of my own is not something I’ve ever given any thought to. It’s been the case ever since I was young. However, when I was old enough to leave home I began to meet other people my age who wanted different things out of life than I did – which in many cases included babies. “I look at women who are already mothers and I ache for children,” is something I can remember a female friend saying to me at eighteen. I’d never known anyone before who put that side of adult life first, but of course, part of growing up for anyone is learning that other people don’t necessarily follow the same path you’ve chosen. (That same friend now has four children, by the way, so you can safely say she made good on her plans!)

helping people who can’t have a family

Meeting her was one of those turning points in my life, because she helped me realise how unfair it seemed that there were so many people out there who were longing for children, but for one reason or another weren’t able to have them. A family was not something I myself had ever wanted out of life, but everybody knows what it’s like to want something very badly, whatever that thing might be. 

Donation started to feel like a good idea. No matter what your personal beliefs are, pretty much everyone agrees that we all live in the same world together and sometimes helping others is just the right thing to do. So I tested for donation in the summer of 2008, and as it turned out I was suitable, we went ahead. 

sharing talents, skills and passions

Since 2009 I’ve lived and worked in China. I often think of the children I helped into the world, who are growing up back home so far away. They’ll be having their first Christmases, starting school, and taking trips and holidays they’ll always remember. A little bit into the future they’ll be falling in love for the first time, leaving home and setting out on their own great adventure. What will they do? Will they go to study at university, as I did, or will some other path of life beckon to them? I wonder if they’ll be anything like me. I think at least some of them will draw and write, and lead creative lives as I do. Maybe they’ll even do the same job as me when they’re older – though my secret hope is they’ll go on to do more than I ever did.

I’d urge any man who can to consider being a sperm donor. When I look back on what I’ve done with my life so far, my work in fertility is one of the things I’m proudest of. You’ll be sharing the talents and skills that make you special, and giving a precious gift to somebody yearning for the happiness a child of their own can bring.